So......
1. To job loss. You totally suck and I took no comfort in knowing that we were suffering right along side the other 9% of America's unemployed. I felt no camaraderie as my family and I tried to figure out how to exist on a quarter of what we used to earn and without health insurance.
Though I am proud to say that I can work four jobs at a time and I will not break, that I absolutely know the value of a dollar, and a dollar menu, that it is okay to feed your children pasta, a lot, and riding your bike really is not only healthy but cost effective, I hope for god's sake I have learned all there is to learn in the unemployment chapter of life's book and 2012 will bring full-time and permanent employment to us all.
2. To loss of life. To my family and friends and friends' family who have passed on. The world does go on, but not easily. Every day does get a little brighter but never bright enough. You are missed, you are loved, and you will never be forgotten.
3. To health. I swear to god I could have lived very happily never having to have heard the words, " you have cancer," but that wasn't to be. The thing that makes me the most upset about these words is that they can never be taken back. Yes I had cancer and it was easily taken care of and cured, but it was the scariest time of my adult life, and I think that I am forever going to live in fear of tests and results. I hated to be reminded that I am vulnerable and that I always will be. A part of me did die that first day, and though things are now better, I will never be the same.
4. To time. This is such an awful paradox that continues to plague me. I hate the awareness of time passage. I hate knowing that days, weeks, months and years go by and yet so many minds stay closed, so many behaviors go unchecked, so many people continue to harm and regress all around us. I hate knowing that time forces me to look at all that has not been accomplished and may never be accomplished. Mostly I hate the awareness that my time is limited.
And yet, time has brought me a husband and two children who continue to grow and thrive and evolve. Time has given me the chance to make right my wrongs, to develop my relationships further, and to have yet another new year, where I can wish for peace, health and happiness for myself and those I love.
So here I am again, humbly acknowledging the passage of one year and hoping for wish fulfillment in the year ahead. Out with the old..........and PLEASE, in with (the better) new.
