Au revoir les Americans

I am moving to France. Pack my bags, get me on the plane, and who the fuck cares if I ever come back. All this because America Totally sucks!

Today I spent an hour on the phone with Sallie Mae, trying to understand why they are legally allowed to steal from me, wrote a letter to my Representative about how Sallie Mae is a thief. Contacted the Plainville police to fine out why they removed the plates from my car, then went to the RMV to sit for three hours to try to renew the registration on the car to get the plates back. While at the RMV I tried to argue with them that I should be allowed to renew my license which expires in a week, but they say that I can’t because they don’t have proof that I am legally married. ( By they way it will be five years in three weeks). Then back to Plainville to pick up my plates, I haven’t eaten, I haven’t had coffee in three days, and I haven’t completed any of the chores on my list, some of which need to get done in order for me to start work on Wednesday. Then on the radio I was listening to Fresh Air and they were speaking to someone who has experience with health care systems around the world and he was talking about all the other countires in the world that have universal non-profit health care, and that is when I decided I am moving.

I choose France because 1. universal healthcare 2. I could probably skip out on my loans and they would not find me 3. let us not forget coffee and pastry on every corner. Big deal I don’t speak the language, who cares that my family will miss me, and I am sure it doesn’t matter that I have no job or a place to stay, those are all details that can be worked out later. But what would I be giving up?

As I looked around the RMV I was struck with how cool is it that here we are in a room, all people, all ages, all incomes, and all races, and we are all having the universal experience of waiting at the RMV. Together we have a common enemy, and though we don’t really speak to one another, you can feel the connection that each and every one of us feels as we pointlessly and hopelessly wait, and there is something kinda romantic about that. Only in America, right?

I wonder if they have a RMV in France?