The downside of writing this journal/blog/confessional is people seeking me out to share their similar feelings. There are moments in the day when I can pretend our inevitable separation will not happen and then someone stops to chat and share that they too are going through a separation, and just like I suspected, it feels awful.
I am glad to know I am not alone, after all misery loves company, but I am sad to know this is real, as it makes pretending it’s not…impossible.
Speaking of misery loving company, I am not the only one in our house with deep feelings about this. My sophomore is also going through a difficult time as she reconciles that it is inevitable that she too is going to grow up. As we were driving home today, she put on T. Swift’s “Never Grow Up” and sincerely asked the universe why she couldn’t just stay young forever. My heart broke in a thousand pieces, for her, for me, and for everyone who wrestles with the finality of the human experience. We both had tears rolling down our cheeks which made us also laugh and then I assured her that no matter what, she will always be my baby. Yes, it is true that she will always be my baby, and in the saying of that I recognized how wrong it would be of me to selfishly keep her to myself. She is a beacon of light that was put on this earth to shine. Both my children are, and tonight that truth is comfort enough.
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