0 Days pm

D-Day pm 

Well, it happened, the thing I have been anticipating all year as the worst moment of my life, has come and gone and I am still alive to talk about it. 

This morning, after I wrote the am journal entry, I sat in the lobby of the hotel and had a good cry. I was by myself and I felt like I needed to get it all out so that I could be prepared for the day. Crying over, I went back to the room and waited for you all to wake up. Coincidently the only chair in the room was next to your side of the bed, so I was sitting there when you did wake up. I swear I was not staring at you in your sleep, why would I do that-- (ha ha, funny, not funny) We all got ready to head over to move you in, when your roommate from yesterday called and asked if you cared if the room got moved around again. Being the empath that you are, you recognized immediately that your roommate’s needs far outweighed your own and you said whatever was decided you were fine with. We all got in the car to drive over, not exactly sure what to expect. 

Let me just say that your school has got moving-in down to a science. We pulled onto campus, followed the signage, and pulled right up to your dorm. Staff directed you to a table to get your ID and key and while you did that, our entire car was unloaded by RA’s, OL’s and athletes in less than 2 minutes. We were in your room with all your stuff and unpacking within 15 minutes of pulling onto campus. There were students from the sustainability group going around collecting all the trash and recycling and everything could not have gone smoother. 

After setting up your room, we went outside and immediately bumped into the voter registration table. We were both relieved to have this taken care of, because we were both wondering where you would have to go in town to take care of this. From there we went to the bookstore and got some swag, then to the dining hall to have lunch. After lunch we sat on the lawn in the famous red Adirondack chairs and all talked about nothing. We walked you back to your dorm so you could meet up with your floor for your first official campus activity, and then just like that, we said goodbye. 

The whole car ride home, I felt your absence, but I felt something else that I think I am going to hang on to and that feeling was curiosity. As soon as we left, I was already wondering who you were meeting, how was the roommate situation, was your new bed comfortable, how long will it take you to find your classes, etc, etc. I think even if we doubled the amount of time it took to get home, I would not have run out of things to be curious about, and let me tell you, being curious is a much better feeling than being heartsick. 

You texted while we were driving and I felt so relieved, because without me asking, you were answering my unasked questions about what you were doing and how you were. I think it was in that text that I was finally able to relax about this transition. I had no expectation that you would reach out to us that soon, and yet, there you were. And, it was not a sad text or a text about being scared or any concerning feelings, it was just an update. Even as I write this, you are on Facetime with your sibling. Tonight I have some peace of mind because I know that you are okay. 

For now, I am okay too.